I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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