You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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