She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
