Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
