M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
