he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
