just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
