Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
