Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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