Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
