i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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