its not stalking. its research.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
