Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
