Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
