Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
