help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
