so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
