How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
