You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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