Got a toothbrush?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
