im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
