I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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