Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
PANTIES FOUND
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