this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
