I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
