I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
