too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
