bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
