Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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