girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
