just come out here and I will go home with you...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
