1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
