Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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