A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
