I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
