new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
