I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
