Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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