He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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