Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
