i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
