the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
