and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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