i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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