remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
