If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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