My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
