Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
