So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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