He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
